I’m sorry, did a reindeer throw up on your lawn?

Let me give you a visual, one that I’m sure you’re well aware of.  Think of a house at Christmastime.  A house in which the owners enjoy decorating their exterior.  A house that could be beautifully, or at least classically, adorned with glimmer and magic.  Now, instead of glimmer and magic, throw in about 5 giant inflatables, 4 different Santa’s, 3 projecting images, 2(00) strands of mismatched lights, and a nutcracker with a beer belly.  You know you just sang that in your head – don’t deny it.

As far as the nutcracker with a beer belly, I’m not kidding.  It’s actually what inspired this little blog entry.

A few weeks ago a woman at work told me that I had to see something I wouldn’t believe.  She had discovered this item (read – monstrosity) on a weekend visit to the local home store.  In the picture I saw something that made me cringe – for various reasons.  It was one of those large inflatable’s of a nutcracker.  Only this particular nutcracker had a shirt that only went about halfway down his stomach, he was holding a beer in his hand, and his very round [what is to be assumed] beer belly was protruding quite profusely from his waist line.

Now, if you’re reading this, please do not be offended, I have nothing against people of various sizes, that’s life.   Instead, let’s think about all those lawns you drive by that make you think: “Really? You think that looks good?”  Personally I’m all for decorating for Christmas.  As a kid we had one of the best decorated houses in town.  People would actually come to the door and tell my parents how much they loved our lights ever year and that they made special trips just to see.  The difference between our house and the “really” house – well thought out plans.

When I drive by a house that has so much stuff in the yard, I cannot even fathom how someone thought that looked good.  It makes me want to curl up in a ball due to sensory overload.  In fact, I have this close to overwhelming desire to go knock on their door and volunteer my services to make sense of some of the chaos.  First thing I would do is reduce the giant inflatables from five, down to 1 (if you absolutely had to have it).  Next, I would ask that instead of covering the house like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation, that you line the roof and do a design on top (we did Christmas presents – very cool!).  Oh, and please add in some sort of color scheme or at least evenly alternate your colored lights in the strand.   Finally, please do not place a beer belly nutcracker anywhere on the premises, it’s just preposterous.  If you do, I will surely think one of your 15 reindeer, threw up on your lawn.

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2 thoughts on “I’m sorry, did a reindeer throw up on your lawn?

    • Thank-you so much. I’m glad you found the site and got some enjoyment out of it. I hope I can keep posting bits of random things that people find interesting and fun. I just decided I’m going to run another marathon, so I’m sure I’ll have all sorts of stories around that. 🙂

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